My boyfriend keeps his phone face-down and his "Do Not Disturb" is always on

we’ve been together for a year. "alex" is great, but he has this weird habit. the second he sits down, his phone goes face-down on the table. if we’re watching a movie, his phone is in another room. he says he’s "practicing digital detox" to be present with me. but last night, he went to the bathroom and left it. it lit up with a notification from an unsaved number: "are you home yet?" i didn't open it, but the "digital detox" suddenly feels like a "digital curtain." am i being paranoid?

The Breakdown:

• He Said: He’s trying to be a "high-value" partner who isn't distracted by tech.
• She Said: The lack of transparency is triggering her "anxious attachment."

The Science: In the digital age, "Privacy" and "Secrecy" are often confused. Privacy is something you have; secrecy is something you do. When a partner intentionally hides the existence of communication, it creates an "Attachment Injury" that mimics the pain of physical infidelity.

The Solution: "I love that you want to be present with me, but the face-down phone and the hidden notifications make me feel anxious rather than connected. If we’re building a future, I need to feel like there are no 'hidden' parts of your day. Can we talk about what transparency looks like for us?"

#DigitalBoundaries #AnxiousAttachment