My husband refuses to baby-proof the house because it "ruins the aesthetic"

our daughter is 10 months old and crawling everywhere. i asked my husband to help me put up gates and anchor the dressers. he said no because he "doesn't want the house looking like a daycare" and that i should just "watch her better." he’s a designer and he’s obsessed with his mid-century modern furniture. i feel like he cares more about his coffee table than his daughter’s safety.

The Breakdown:

• He Said: He values the environment he worked hard to create and thinks she’s being "overprotective."
• She Said: She’s carrying the entire mental load of safety and feels unsupported.

The Science: This is a conflict of values and weaponized incompetence. He is prioritizing his aesthetic needs over the safety needs of the family, which is a sign of narcissistic tendencies or a lack of co-regulation.

The Solution: "This isn't an 'aesthetic' choice; it’s a safety requirement. If you aren't willing to anchor the furniture, then you are choosing your 'vibe' over your daughter’s life. That is not a compromise i’m willing to make. The gates go up today, or we’re staying at my mom’s."

#MentalLoad #WeaponizedIncompetence