So, I (26F) honestly thought I finally beat the dating apps. Like, I genuinely thought I won.

Two months ago I met "Mark." The love bombing was insane—I’m talking daily flowers, late-night calls about what we’d name our kids, the whole 10/10 movie romance. Last month he even soft launched me on his IG (just a pic of our hands holding coffee). I was so happy. I thought, “Okay, this is it. We’re actually building a secure attachment.”

Then Tuesday happened. Well, actually, nothing happened.

Mark just... stopped. No texts. No "good morning." Nothing. But the worst part? He was still orbiting me. He’d watch every single one of my stories within like 5 minutes of me posting, but he completely ignored my "hey, u okay?" texts. I spent three weeks in this absolute love haze of anxiety, literally rotting in bed wondering what I did to mess this up.

Then yesterday, out of nowhere, he texts: "Hey stranger, missed you. Dinner tonight?"

I tried to ask where he’d been for twenty-one days and he just laughed it off. Said I was "overthinking" and he was just "busy with work." He made me feel like I was being psycho for even bringing it up.

I feel like I’m being ghostlighted. My friends think he was just roaching or cushioning with his ex while I was "on hold." But now he’s acting like I’m the problem. Am I the AH for wanting an actual apology, or is this just weaponized incompetence?

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Why is this happening? (The Real Life Breakdown)

The "He Said" (The Logic): Mark is probably stuck in avoidant dismissal. When things got "too real" during the Love Bombing, he panicked. He disappeared to get his "freedom" back, then used submarining to crawl back in without having to do the emotional labor of explaining himself. He wants the perks of Sarah without the accountability.

The "She Said" (The Truth): Sarah isn’t "overthinking." She’s experiencing situationship fatigue. When someone breaks the consistency contract, your brain goes into survival mode. You aren't "crazy"; you're just reacting to micro-cheating—the betrayal of your shared digital boundaries.

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The "Us In The Real" Verdict

Mark is a breadcrumber. He’s giving you just enough attention to keep you from moving on, but he has zero intention of actually committing. He wants a textlationship on his terms.

The Script (What to actually text him):

"Hey Mark, let's be real—'busy with work' doesn't explain a 3-week disappearance while you were still watching my stories. I’m not into games or 'stranger' texts. I need co-regulation and respect, not a situationship that only exists when you're bored. I’m doing a clean break. Take care."